It's easy to discourage myself. I feel scattered, I feel unmotivated, I feel disappointed, I feel impatient. I feel my self-worth being attacked by my own inner voice. I don't know why. If I could shut that voice off I could realize all the good feedback I get and all the good things that are happening, but I get stuck in my own head. Vicious damn trap.
On this Indendence Day weekend, I'm going to try to leave it behind, to declare my independence from myself. At least until it learns how to behave.
When I listen to it, I get lost and I set out in multiple directions all at once out of fear. Fear is, after all, its main weapon. I've been taught, and taught myself, fear since I was little. Stupid fears that, while they helped shape who I am today and the life I've lived so far, have also helped my inner voice hold me back. It's rarely the end of the world, especially when it's something in my control. I'm not powerful enough to effect a devastating amount of destruction.
So, jump in the flippin' deep end of the pool. And stop worrying about little crap that makes the mind spiral inward to the point of nothingness or outward to oblivion.
ON CONSIGNMENT - Jim Morrison 07/02/08