"the hardest decision you will ever have to make / lies underneath your fingers" - dead wax inscription
By L.Phelps
I've been thinking a lot lately about changes. About who I am. About what direction my life is going.
Fifteen years ago, I was a different person. I was young, idealistic, and thought that anything and everything was possible. I was half right. Anything and everything is possible. I was only half right about this because I made a gigantic miscalculation.
It's up to me to make it happen.
It's not that I am lazy. Far from it. I am a stubborn ass. If I set my mind on something, there is no stopping me.
The problem? I feel like my life is constantly being pulled in two directions. The life I am living. Safe, comfortable, predictable. And the life I could be living.
I am too scared to make the change.
Failing would be the death of me. The twist? Not trying will be the death of me too, just in a different way.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Die By The Drop
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1 comment:
I know exactly how you feel; I enjoy my job but want to start-up on my own. To do that pushes my boundaries to an extent it scares me too much to try.
I realised part of this was being stuck - physically and mentally where I am now. That feeling was making me more scared of change. So I decided to leave for India next year. Maybe doing something that will fundamentally change how I see the world will be the push I need to get over my fears (introverted, shy, self-conscious and a lack of confidence around people) to jump-start me into the life I could be living but aren't.
Love your art, btw. Am sure you will also reach a moment when the fear of not doing what you want will overcome the fear of actually doing it.
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